Stepmother

I’ve been seeing photos plastered on various social media outlets stating “A stepparent is a truly amazing person.  They made a choice to love another’s child as their own” and I find a lot of truth in that.  I became a stepparent to two amazing children when I got involved with my ex-husband.  As we were getting divorced, I was terrified that this would mean the end of my relationship with his children.  I truly did (and still do) love them like they are my own children.  Luckily it didn’t come to that, and they are still in my life.  I don’t get to see them nearly as much as I’d like to.  They live out-of-state with their mom (who is my personal idea of what a superhero looks like sometimes) and stepdad, and circumstances being what they are I only get to physically spend time with them briefly when they come up for a visit.  For very complicated reasons, I have to keep some distance so that all involved can maintain their sanity.  Someday, they’ll understand that.  That doesn’t mean I don’t miss them and think about them every day (thank goodness I can keep in touch via Facebook!)  and it doesn’t mean I love them any less than I did before.

Later on, I met Lane.  Well after that, I met M and O.  This is my second journey in stepparenting.  One day, the kids just started telling people that I’m their stepmother (it’s not a title I asked for, kids do these things when they’re ready) and so it really began.  I used to be reminded at Mother’s Day that I’m not a mother in that I’ve never adopted a child and I’ve never given birth to one either.  I’ve grown used to letting it pass as a day to celebrate women who are considered to be “real” mothers.  Even when I had my ex-husband’s kids in my life with more regularity, I was reminded that I was not a mother.  In no way am I minimizing the beauty of adoption or the road to delivering a child of one’s own, but stepmothers really get a bad rap.  I shop for and cook their meals, I wash the grass and dirt stains out of their sports uniforms (and pretty much anything else they wear), I sit at soccer practice when it’s freezing cold and raining.  I get them chicken soup and crackers and ginger ale when they’re sick.  I work to teach them about being kind to others, and responsibility, and good manners, and teamwork.  I help with homework and feel like I’m re-learning simple math so I can help M when she furrows her brow and says “I’m stuck.”  I’m missing traveling for my baby sister’s college graduation in part because I am partly responsible for the two small humans in this house and for getting them to school and soccer and baseball and whatever else pops up on the schedule.  I do all of this while being mindful of my role as “not the actual mother,” and it isn’t easy.  The school doesn’t know what to do with me, who am I in all of this? Do I make decisions? Is my signature good enough on a permission slip for a field trip, or am I just the person who’s allowed to pick them up when they’re sick?  Other moms at school don’t know what to do with me, either.  I’m an outsider, not part of their special “I’ve given birth/ adopted” circle.  I’ve had my directions undermined by others who felt justified doing so because I’m not their mother, I’m just Lane’s girlfriend.  That’s okay, I don’t do the things I do for the title, or recognition, or to be part of a social circle.  I do it because I am a stepmom, and these are the things you do when a child is in your care.  So please, let’s put away the special stepmother wart and let’s stop assuming no woman could love children that aren’t their own as if they are.  I have no doubt in my mind that if Lane and I ever have a child, I will love all five children (two from my first marriage, M, O, and a long-shot future baby that we’ll call “the urchin” for now) just the same.

Back on the topic of Mother’s Day, I have never expected anything from anyone in celebration of that day.  I’m happy to celebrate the moms of all forms in my life and leave it at that. I suspect Lane and the kids have something up their sleeve but if I’m wrong, that’s okay.  It’s not about special recognition for me, it’s more important that (especially as women) we all start to respect the roles people play in children’s lives.  I’m blessed to have children in my life who love me enough to call me their stepmother and there’s no better way to recognize it than that.  Although, if someone really needs to show me they care, on Mother’s Day or any day, cinnamon rolls are one great way to do that.  I won’t turn down cinnamon rolls.  They’re simple, and gooey and comforting.  They take some effort, and I’m a firm believer that sometimes, the effort is the biggest part of a gift.  The effort for these is minimized by using a bread machine (that could also be a great gift for mom!), but you can make them without one as well.

Cinnamon Buns

Ingredients:

for the dough:

• 1 C. plus 2 Tbsp. warm milk
• 3 Tbsp. canola or vegetable oil
• 1 egg and 2 egg whites, lightly beaten
• 1/2 C. sugar
• 4 C. flour (possibly more)
• 1 tsp. salt
• 3 tsp. yeast

for the filling:

• 2 Tbsp. butter, melted
• 2/3 C. packed brown sugar
• 2 Tbsp. cinnamon

for the icing:

• 1 tsp. milk
• 1 1/2 C. confectioner’s sugar
• 4 Tbsp. butter, softened
• 1 tsp. vanilla extract

Directions:

To make the dough using a bread machine, place the dough ingredients into the bread machine pan in the order listed.  Select the dough cycle and wait for the cycle to complete.  Check the dough after the first few minutes of the cycle and add a little more flour if necessary.

To make the dough without a bread machine, add 1 tsp. of the sugar to the warm milk and stir in the yeast.  Allow the mixture to sit for a minute.  In a large mixing bowl (or the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment), combine the vegetable oil, eggs, salt and sugar.  Add in 2 C. of the flour and the milk mixture and mix to combine.  Mix in the remaining flour until the dough is smooth and easy to handle.  Knead by hand on a lightly floured surface for 5-10 minutes or in a stand mixer using a dough hook for 5-10 minutes.  Place the dough in an oiled bowl, cover and allow to rise in a warm place until doubled in size, 1 to 1 1/2 hours.

When the dough cycle is finished, or the dough has completed rising if making the dough by hand, roll the dough into a large rectangle (roughly 15×9 inches) on a well-floured surface.

Heat the oven to 325 degrees.

Spread the melted butter over the dough.

Combine the brown sugar and cinnamon in a small bowl and sprinkle the mixture evenly over the buttered dough.

Roll the dough up tightly, starting from the long side, like a jelly-roll.

Cut the dough into 15 rolls (about 1″ each) and place the rolls into two greased round cake pans.

At this point, you can cover the unbaked rolls with plastic wrap and refrigerate them overnight, then bake in the morning if desired (if this is your plan, skip pre-heating the oven).

Bake for 20 minutes, until browned.

While the rolls bake, combine all ingredients for icing in a stand mixer fitted with paddle attachment (or in a mixing bowl using a hand mixer) until smooth.

Spread icing over cinnamon rolls as soon as the rolls come out of the oven.

Makes 15 cinnamon rolls.

Source: adapted from Money Saving Mom

Happy Earth Day

Happy Earth Day!  I like to think that we’re pretty environmentally conscious around here.  We have CFL and LED lighting pretty much everywhere, and I’m the crazy “turn that light off, we don’t own the electric company!” lady.  We do our laundry in cold water using our high-efficiency washer, and we wait to run the dishwasher until it is bulging full.  This attitude translates to the food we eat as well.  Using meal planning, I plan meals with produce that I can obtain locally and in season whenever possible.  Reusable shopping bags help me reduce the number of plastic bags we use, and make it possible for me to load myself up like a pack mule and carry the groceries into the house in one trip.  I love home canning things like apple sauce when apples are locally abundant and sending it to school for snacks in reusable containers instead of buying it at the store and throwing away those little plastic cups with foil lids.  Making our own bread eliminates the packaging and the food waste.  I make stale bread into croutons, or French toast, or bread pudding instead of tossing it into the trash now that we have bread that I love in the house).   Making things like tortillas and refried beans at home eliminates a lot of packaging waste as well.

So what happens when despite my best meal planning efforts, I have bananas hanging around, forgotten in the fruit bowl?  Throwing them out wasn’t an option (even if these were mere hours from that or composting really being my only options) because not only is that wasteful, it’s not necessary. There are plenty of delicious things to make with over-ripe bananas, so I got out my mixing bowl.  Banana bread seemed like a great idea, until I also saw the doughnut pan I had to have hanging around also forgotten while I rummaged around for the loaf pan.  Peanut butter bananas sounded like way more fun for breakfast than banana bread, although banana bread slathered in butter or turned into French toast tops my list of favorite breakfast foods.  After making these banana doughnuts, studded with peanut butter chips and topped with peanut butter frosting, those two items might have to move aside.  O ate two of these for breakfast, two days in a row and Lane ate two of them before I told him they’re made with whole wheat flour.  He almost didn’t believe me, and if I hadn’t made them myself I wouldn’t have believed it either.  These are delicious even without the peanut butter frosting, but I can’t think of many breakfast foods I don’t love when peanut butter is involved.  You can make these without a doughnut pan by either piping the batter onto a parchment paper lined baking sheet, or heaping a few tablespoons of batter on a parchment lined baking sheet and using your fingers or a spoon to make the hole in the center.  They won’t be as pretty, but they’ll be every bit as tasty.

Peanut Butter Banana Doughnuts

Ingredients:

for the doughnuts:

• 2 ripe bananas, mashed
• 2 egg whites
• 1 Tbsp. olive oil (or vegetable oil)
• 3/4 C. packed brown sugar
• 1 1/2 C. all-purpose flour
• 3/4 C. whole wheat flour
• 1 tsp. baking powder
• 1/2 tsp. baking soda
• 1/2 tsp. cinnamon
• 1 Tbsp. white sugar
• 1/2 C. peanut butter chips (or chocolate chips, optional)

for the frosting (optional):

• 1/2 C. peanut butter
• 2 Tbsp. milk
• 1/4-1/2 C. confectioner’s sugar (depending on how thick you want the icing)

Directions:

Heat oven to 425 degrees.

Beat the bananas, egg whites, oil, and brown sugar in a large mixing bowl or in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment until smooth.

Add the all-purpose flour, wheat flour, baking powder, baking soda and cinnamon, and mix to completely combine.

Stir in the peanut butter chips, if using.

Let the dough stand for 5 minutes.

To use a doughnut pan or to pipe the batter onto parchment lined baking sheets, transfer the batter to a large resealable bag and snip off a medium-sized piece of the bag’s corner.  Spray the doughnut pan with non-stick cooking spray if using.

Pipe the batter into the cavities of the doughnut pan, filling each cavity approximately 2/3 full (you will have to complete this in batches if you have a 6 cavity doughnut pan), OR pipe approximately 3 Tbsp. of batter into circles on the prepared baking sheet.  You can also pipe 3 Tbsp. of batter onto the baking sheet in piles and then use a buttered knife and your fingers to form doughnut holes in the center of each pile and smooth it into a round doughnut shape.

Sprinkle the sugar evenly over the tops of the doughnuts.

Bake for 7-8 minutes until edges are golden and the tops spring back when lightly pressed.

Remove to a wire rack to cool completely before frosting.

To make the frosting, whisk the peanut butter, milk, and 1/4 C. of the confectioner’s sugar together until smooth.  Add additional confectioner’s sugar to reach your desired consistency.

Makes 12-15 doughnuts.

Source: adapted slightly from Oh She Glows, originally from Best Loved Whole Grain Recipes

 

Missing Pieces

Today is World Autism Awareness Day, and you may remember from last year that autism research is a cause I am incredibly passionate about.  Autism is the fastest growing serious developmental disability in the U.S. and receives less than five per-cent of the research funding of other childhood diseases.  There is no one single cause of autism, nor is there one single type of autism.  As you may remember from last year, Autism Speaks hosts an event for World Autism Day called “Light it Up Blue for World Autism Awareness Day.”  Various businesses and landmarks will be illuminated with blue lights today and tonight to shed light on autism spectrum disorder.

We have our blue light bulb ready to go on the porch for tonight, but I’m going to show my blue early today.  I considered various blue things I could make, but since there are very few naturally blue foods I decided on blueberries, because they at least have blue in their name (scientific selection process around here, I know).  A blueberry banana smoothie was a great start to my morning, and as easy as “dump it all in a blender, push button, and drink.” Okay, I recommend drinking this out of something other than directly from the blender, but I won’t judge either way.

Blueberry Banana Smoothie

Ingredients:

• 1 medium banana, peeled
• 1 C. frozen blueberries
• 1/2 C. milk (anything from skim to whole)
• 5 oz. blueberry Greek yogurt

Directions:

Place all ingredients into the jar of a blender.

Puree for about 30 seconds, until all ingredients are smooth and combined.

Pour into a drinking glass.

Makes 1 serving.

Source: Diana Dishes original

Spring Breeze

Happy first day of spring!  Today is the spring equinox, better known as Ostara to me.  It’s hard to think about starting a garden with a blanket of new snow on the ground, but that’s exactly what’s on my mind.  For weeks, we’ve been discussing the herbs we’re going to start and the raised bed garden we’ll put outside the kitchen window.  I’m beyond excited about this, and the other yard projects we have planned.  We’re building a new shed (the blizzard was the undoing of the old one), and we need to fix the lawn from where the gas line was installed (as I try to figure out how to kill the electric stove and make it look like an accident).  Ostara’s a great day to think about and work on these projects, as it’s a day celebrating fertility and new growth.  You’ll notice that a lot of Ostara traditions are a lot like Easter traditions, and I’ll reserve my thoughts on who “owned” them first because I’d like to be part of a world where we tolerate (or in some cases, celebrate) each other’s differences.  If I remember right (and my apologies if I have this wrong), to some who celebrate Easter the colored Easter eggs represent the empty tomb of Christ and coloring eggs was also a good way to use up the eggs in the house before the beginning of Lent.  To those who celebrate Ostara, eggs are a symbol of rebirth.  What all of this egg talk boils down to is that no matter what religious beliefs you hold, there’s room for interpretation.  I think we can all agree that it’s been a rough winter and rejoice that spring is finally here.

As with most holidays, I like to celebrate with food.  This sweet Italian bread wreath is a great treat no matter what your beliefs are and it was a great breakfast for the first day of spring.  The orange hints in the bread and the glaze are a great reminder that spring is really here, but this is a great bread for any occasion.  It’s usually reserved for spring or Easter celebrations because most often, it’s seen with colored eggs baked into it.  I skipped the colored eggs because our schedule this past week didn’t leave time to color eggs, and because I feared they would go to waste since I was only serving this to the four of us.  The bread doesn’t need the colored eggs but they do make the bread look much more festive.  If you choose to include the colored eggs, dye the raw eggs (with a dye that is safe to consume or preferably with a natural dye), and place the dried colored eggs on top of the wreath before baking.  The eggs will cook while the bread bakes, and the hard-”boiled” eggs are nice alongside a slice of this bread (warmed with a little butter is my recommendation) for breakfast.  As far as the braiding, it’s up to you how decorative you want to be.  I did braid the dough for the one below but after rising, the braid lost most of its definition and that’s fine- the flavor is way more important than the braiding.  You can also divide the dough into two strands and twist them together, then pinch the ends together to form the wreath.  I find that doing it that way makes for very pretty presentation and is easier than juggling three strands of dough.  It’s important to note that the dough for this is incredibly sticky, and I don’t advise adding any more flour to it.  The braiding happens on a greased work space and should happen quickly to keep the dough from becoming too stuck to the work  space.  This starts with an easy starter that you make a day ahead of time (at least eight hours ahead of when you want to start), and does need to rise twice for about two hours per rise so be sure to plan ahead if you want to serve this for any celebration you’re having this spring.

Braided (Or Not) Spring Bread Wreath

Ingredients:

for the starter:

• 1 C. all-purpose flour
• 1/2 C. cool water
• 1/8 tsp. instant yeast
  

for the dough:

• 2 1/4 C. all-purpose flour
• 1 1/4 tsp. salt
• 2 tsp. instant yeast
• 1/3 C. sugar
• 4 Tbsp. unsalted butter, at room temperature
• 2 large eggs
• 1 large egg yolk
• 2 tsp. vanilla extract
• 1 tsp. orange extract
• 1/4 tsp. anise extract
• grated peel of 1 large orange

for the glaze:

• 1 C. confectioner’s sugar, sifted
• 2-3 Tbsp. orange juice or milk
• sprinkles, for decorating

Directions:

Mix together the starter ingredients in a bowl, cover, and let rest at room temperature overnight (up to 15 hours).

The next day, combine the starter with all of the remaining dough ingredients in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment (or bread machine- hand mixing is not recommended, the dough is incredibly sticky).

Mix until the dough is elastic and smooth.

Grease a large bowl, put the dough into the bowl, and let the dough rise for 1-2 hours until noticeably puffy.

Spread out a sheet of parchment paper onto a work surface, and lightly grease it or spray it with non-stick cooking spray.

Turn the dough out onto the piece of parchment paper and divide it into 3 equal pieces.

Shape each piece into an 18 inch long rope, then braid the ropes together.

Connect the two ends to form a wreath.

Carefully lift the parchment paper and wreath onto a large baking sheet.

Cover the wreath and let it rise for 1-2 hours until puffy.  If you’re adding colored eggs, do so after this rise by carefully placing them as desired onto the bread wreath.

Heat the oven to 350 degrees.

Bake for 15 minutes, then tent the wreath with aluminum foil and bake for 10-20 more minutes (check after 10 minutes), until golden brown and an instant-read thermometer inserted into the center reads 190 degrees.

Remove the wreath from the oven and allow it to cool.

To make the glaze, whisk together the confectioner’s sugar and 2 Tbsp. of the milk or orange juice.  Add additional liquid 1/4 tsp. at a time until the glaze is thin and pours easily.

Place waxed paper or parchment paper under the wire cooling rack and pour the glaze evenly over the top of the bread wreath.  Top with sprinkles as desired.

To serve, wait for the glaze to dry completely.  Serve warm, with or without butter.

If you have included the colored eggs, refrigerate the bread within 2 hours, or remove the eggs and refrigerate them separately.  If you do not include the eggs, this can be stored tightly covered with plastic wrap at room temperature.

Makes one 10″ round loaf.

Source: adapted from King Arthur Flour

Doughnut Girl

I really try to stay away from buying kitchen things unless I really truly need them and I know where they’re going to live once they arrive at the house.  Chances are if something is going to need cabinet space or counter space, I can convince myself that it’s not a necessity.  For the longest time I would see doughnut pans and tell myself that the last thing my waistline needs is to be eating doughnuts and so no doughnut pan.  Then Blizzard Charlotte happened and school was cancelled here for a week.  Of course, it had to be cancelled during the week of Valentine’s Day and the kids were so excited about handing out those little cards and toys. Yes, all of their classmates- as we had to explain to O, even the girls in his kindergarten class get a Valentine.  Even if it is a Star Wars Valentine, even if the toy attached is a tiny glow-in-the-dark lightsaber.  No, it does not mean they are all his girlfriend (to be five again!).  So I am blaming the following for the newest addition to my kitchen: two pouting children, the arrival of another coupon from a store that sells all sorts of household goods like doughnut pans, and that I wanted to make something red velvet that wasn’t a repeat of last year’s whoopie pies.  I reasoned that I can make room for baked doughnuts, both in the kitchen and in my meal plans.  The purchase price of the pan and making room for it in the cabinet were a small price to pay for the happiness these doughnuts created.  M stood on a step stool at the stove and ever so carefully dipped the doughnuts into the glaze before placing them on a cooling rack to dry.  She proudly tells anyone who will listen that she glazed all but two of the doughnuts.

I had considered not glazing them since I planned on frosting them with cream cheese frosting, then I contemplated glazing them but not frosting them.  Then I decided that we don’t have doughnuts every day around here and if I was going to do it, I was going whole hog.  The end result was great, they aren’t overly sweet as I had feared.  The cream cheese in the frosting cuts some of the sweetness and the glaze is a very thin layer in the end so they don’t leave you feeling like you should run to the nearest dentist’s office.  Topping them with sprinkles is absolutely optional, but I had sad faces in my kitchen and sprinkles go a long way toward turning a frown upside down.  These are very light in texture and as far as being “lite,” they’re no worse for you than a cupcake and much better for you than a fried doughnut.   The “red” in red velvet actually refers to what happens when the acidity of the buttermilk reacts with the cocoa powder.  The effect is less pronounced with Dutch-process cocoa powder so if that’s what you’re using, you may find you want to add more food coloring to achieve the desired result.

Baked Red Velvet Doughnuts

Ingredients:

for the doughnuts:

• 1 C. all-purpose flour
• 1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
• 3 Tbsp. unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1/4 tsp. salt
• 1/3 C. granulated sugar
• 2 eggs, slightly beaten
• 1/3 C. plain greek yogurt
• 3 Tbsp. butter, melted
• 1 tsp. vanilla extract
• 2 tsp. water
• 1/2 tsp. red food coloring (I strongly recommend a “no-taste” variety)

for the glaze:

• 1/4 C. milk
• 2 C. powdered sugar
• 1 tsp. vanilla

for the cream cheese frosting:

• 4 oz. cream cheese, at room temperature
• 1/2 C. powdered sugar
• 1 Tbsp. heavy cream
• 1/2 tsp. vanilla

Directions:

Heat the oven to 375 degrees and spray a doughnut pan with non-stick cooking spray.

In a large bowl combine the flour, baking powder, salt and cocoa powder.

Stir in the sugar.

Add the egg, yogurt, and water and stir to thoroughly combine.

Add the melted butter and vanilla and stir to thoroughly combine.

Stir in the red food coloring (batter will be thick).

Fill a resealable bag with the corner snipped off (or a pastry bag) with batter and pipe the batter into the doughnut pan, filling each cavity 2/3 full (you can spoon it in but I find that using a bag makes this much easier).

Bake for 10-12 minutes, until the doughnuts spring back when touched.

Remove from pan and cool on a wire rack before glazing.

To make the glaze, combine all glaze ingredients in a medium saucepan and whisk over low heat until glaze is smooth.

With the burner on low, drop one doughnut into the glaze and use a fork to flip it over and then remove it to a wire cooling rack to dry (put waxed or parchment paper under the wire rack first to make clean-up easier).

If the glaze gets too hot during this process (you want it warm and thin, not boiling), remove the saucepan from the heat.

Let the doughnuts dry completely before frosting.

To make the frosting, put all frosting ingredients in a large mixing bowl and beat until thoroughly combined and fluffy.

Frost each doughnut with cream cheese frosting and, if desired, sprinkles.

Makes 6 doughnuts.

Source: doughnuts adapted from Spiced (adapted from King Arthur Flour), glaze from Cookies and Cups, frosting from Buns in My Oven

Academy Award

The 85th Academy Awards air tonight from the Dolby Theater in Hollywood and before I settle in to catch all of the red carpet action, I want to share a round-up of the film-inspired recipes I’ve shared over the previous twelve days.  It wouldn’t be a round-up without some Oscar trivia:

Nine-year-old Quvenzhane Wallis (Beasts of the Southern Wild) is the youngest actress ever nominated for Best Actress in a Lead Role, taking the distinction from actress Keisha Castle-Hughes who was nominated at thirteen for her role in Whale Rider.  She competes against Emmanuelle Riva (Amour), who at eighty-five is the oldest nominee in the category.

The youngest actor ever nominated is Justin Henry, who at eight years old was nominated for his role as Billy Kramer in the 1979 film Kramer vs. Kramer.

Silver Linings Playbook is the first film since the 1981 film Reds to earn nominations in all four acting categories as well as Best Director and Best Picture.

Les Miserables is the first musical nominated for Best Picture since Chicago in 2002, and prior to Chicago no musical had been nominated in the Best Picture category since Oliver! in 1969.

Composer John Williams, nominated this year for his work on Lincoln, still holds the record for the living person with the most nominations at forty-eight.  Next in line is Woody Allen with twenty-three.

Three of this year’s Best Actor nominees: Bradley Cooper, Denzel Washington, and Hugh Jackman, have previously been named People magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive.

For this year’s 12 Days of Oscar feature, I selected four movies that have been nominated for but did not win Oscars, four films that have won at least one Oscar, and four films hoping to win an Oscar this year.

Pleasantville, Salisbury Steak

I Am Sam, Crepes

When Harry Met Sally, Chef Salad (with oil and vinegar on the side!)

My Week With Marilyn, Roasted Chicken Salad

The Aviator, Banana Ripple Ice Cream

Marie Antoinette, Cream Puffs

Chicago, Deep Dish Pizza

Titanic, Chicken Lyonnaise

Moonrise Kingdom, Lemon Butter Pollock

Les Miserables, French Bread

Silver Linings Playbook, Crabby Snacks

Lincoln, Mary Lincoln’s Apple Bread Pudding